"The best way out is always through"
~Robert Frost
This time last year I was sure I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Things were looking up! Our first house, a second child, job security. We finally had a some money in the bank for the first time in a long time. Oh, if I had only known. A year later, I am still looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to make this about my sorrows. I want to make this about perserverance, character and eventually, hope.
The past few days we have been dealing with several issues, but the biggest one has been Desi's emotional roller coaster. Normally, our daughter is beyond energetic. She is playful and joyful and in love with life. The past few days, however, she has become fearful, anxious, nervous and fragile. I am learning that my first-born has more of me in her than I ever knew. I admit that I am a worrier. I analyze everything to death. Turns out, my daughter is the same way.
She is in school for the first time and recently had to deal with a bully in her class. He said mean things to her and physically hurt her on more than one occasion. Obviously, anyone would be effected by this, but my sensitive 4-year old has been traumatized. Not only has she internalized the bullying, but looking back over the year, she has had to go through alot of change-moving out of her grandparents house, not sleeping in the same room as Mommy and Daddy, not being an only child anymore, going to school everyday and not being home with Mommy. She now cries and goes into panic mode over nothing. She tells me she is "scared of tomorrow" every night.
My heart breaks for her, but I keep reminding her that she has nothing to be afraid of. I try to encourage her to think about happy things and not focus on what she thinks might happen tomorrow. As I type this, I realize I need to practice what I preach.
She is in school for the first time and recently had to deal with a bully in her class. He said mean things to her and physically hurt her on more than one occasion. Obviously, anyone would be effected by this, but my sensitive 4-year old has been traumatized. Not only has she internalized the bullying, but looking back over the year, she has had to go through alot of change-moving out of her grandparents house, not sleeping in the same room as Mommy and Daddy, not being an only child anymore, going to school everyday and not being home with Mommy. She now cries and goes into panic mode over nothing. She tells me she is "scared of tomorrow" every night.
My heart breaks for her, but I keep reminding her that she has nothing to be afraid of. I try to encourage her to think about happy things and not focus on what she thinks might happen tomorrow. As I type this, I realize I need to practice what I preach.
I could list the trials of the past 12+ months. I could make you feel oh so sorry for me. I could blame alot of people for alot of things. But, I don't feel like listing or blaming or even thinking about the bad. I want to say with confidence that it's all going to be ok. I try not to wake up everyday wondering what crazy thing is going to throw our world into another tailspin. Keyword: try. I choose to believe that there is a purpose for all the chaos. Right now, I need to continue being diligent in my faith. I have to remind myself that all things work together for good and that my character is being perfected through the craziness.
I refuse to be "afraid of tomorrow". I choose to be hopeful, no matter how hopeless it all seems or how long it may take to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
Romans 5:3
I refuse to be "afraid of tomorrow". I choose to be hopeful, no matter how hopeless it all seems or how long it may take to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
Romans 5:3
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