Different Flowers, Same Garden

I am the oldest of 4. I have 2 brothers and a sister. For a good portion of my 30 years I have resented this fact. Being the oldest means being the responsible one, the mean one, the level-headed one. When big sis is around, no one is allowed to do anything, ESPECIALLY anything that resembles fun. Well, at least that's what I've been told from my siblings. :) But, this isn't about my first-born issues. This is about being a sister.

When we found out Emery was a girl a tiny part of me was disappointed. We already had a girl and I have always wanted a boy. But, that tiny disappointment faded as soon as I looked at Desi's smile. She was happier about having a sister than she was about being a big sister. After almost 4 weeks of having Emery with us, Desi has been amazing. I'm sure the day will come when she reacts in a not-so-sisterly way. I'm waiting for the jealousy to rear its ugly head. But, so far she has been great.

I admit, I don't remember my sister coming home from the hospital (sorry, C). My earliest memory of her is mom feeding her baby food for the first time (hilarious) and her always being in the bouncy seat while we worked on school. Then there's the night mom put her in bed with me and she ended up in the crack between the mattress and the wall. True story.

We are 12 years apart in age. She has always adored me and wanted to be just like me (seriously) and I have done my best to make her proud. She will be graduating high school in 6 months. She crams way too much into her life, but that comes from being a Shearouse. She breathes music and plays the guitar divinely. She always has to have the last word. For being 17, she is remarkably sane.

We are complete opposites in alot of things, but one thing we have in common is this: we are grateful for each other. When our brothers are being idiots, we give each other the look. When our parents are being...hmm...our parents, we give each other the look. When her friends are less than friendly, when her stress is skyrocketing, when her heart is breaking over things she can't control, I am there to be what she needs - the big sister. That's the part of being the oldest that I don't resent. It's why God made me the responsible, level-headed, even mean (when I have to be) big sister.

I am thankful for a big family. I am thankful that my girls have each other and will experience "sister love". I am even thankful for being born first. And I hope my sister knows how thankful I am for her. Regardless of how crazy she can make me or how dramatic she can be...regardless of how mad I can make her or how dramatic I can be...we are thankful for each other.

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."  ~Linda Sunshine