Dream A Little Dream

"Only those who will risk going too far 
can possibly find out how far one can go."  

~T.S. Eliot

It's the end of an era. My Hallmark store is closing. Might seem a tad dramatic, but this is the place where I walked in as a shy 18 yr. old kid who needed a part-time job and ended up leaving a 25 yr. old (more than) full-time manager turned wife, turned mother. 

I almost quit after my first day. You would think a Hallmark store that consisted of cards, knick-knacks, picture frames and collectibles wouldn't be a stressful work environment. You would think that a Hallmark store wouldn't need 11 employees and that there wouldn't be such a complicated system to putting a birthday card into a plastic slot next to all the other birthday cards. You would think...but you would be very wrong. 

Oh, the stories I could tell you. When I started, I was the youngest employee, followed by the manager, who was 30. After that, they jumped to 50 and just kept going up. One lady refused to blow up balloons because of her fake nails. I guess fake nails make it hard to tie balloons. Another lady refused to move from behind the 2nd register after she arrived for her shift. She would be there promptly at 4 p.m. and never leave that spot until the store closed at 9 p.m. 
And yet another lady would spend 1 entire week decorating the front window. 
One thing they all had in common: the walking farts. 

I saw alot of women come and go in those 7 years. I waited on, catered to and argued with numerous customers. I hauled countless boxes up and down ladders weeks, sometimes months, before any given holiday. I ended up "managing" the most profitable Hallmark store in the state of Florida. But, it had nothing to do with me. 

It was all Mrs. Margaret. 

After all, it was Margaret's Hallmark and there will never be another one like it. 

Margaret grew up on a small Mississippi farm. I don't remember the exact number of siblings she had, but I do remember it was a large number. She had to learn to drive when she was 13. Her daddy had 1 arm and she would drive him back and forth to Memphis for his dr. appointments. She married Wilson Collins and had a daughter named Nancy. She went to work for a doctor as his book keeper. Her husband died unexpectedly during surgery and I don't think she ever really got over it. Margaret married Cecil DeGarmo years later and they decided to open up a Hallmark store in Greenville. It was a huge success. Margaret had a way with people and Cecil ran things behind the scenes. (Years later, we discovered that my grandmother used to shop in Margaret's store when my grandmother would take a day trip to Greenville from her small Arkansas town. Small world, right?!)  Margaret and Cecil began to consider moving away and ultimately decided on Orlando. They opened several Hallmarks, but as they got older they made the choice to focus their energies on one big store. Perfect location, loyal customers, and great customer service made Margaret's Hallmark the best Hallmark in the city. But you must know, Margaret was the absolute HARDEST person you could ever work for. She never gave out compliments and never hesitated to tell you what she thought in her own special way. She was stubborn as the day is long and there were many a day that I would leave in tears swearing to never set foot in that place again. Looking back, I wouldn't trade those 7 years for anything. I learned so much about hard work, patience, loyalty and people. I made life-long friends during that time and discovered things about myself I never knew. I was scared to death of Margaret the first few years, but then I started to understand her, get to know her and I now consider her one of my greatest heroes. 

Margaret ended up selling her store and retiring about a month after I left. The new owners came in and made alot of changes. They renamed it "Ryan's" Hallmark after their son. The loyal customers began to dwindle and the numbers began to fall. When I heard the news that the store was closing, I was shocked. I was mad and sad and began to do what I always end up doing in those moments-I started to dream.


"If only I had the money...I would buy it!"
"Erin and I could run it just like we used to...we could bring it back to the glory days!"
"There must be a way!"

I've had a grand number of dreams my entire life. I used to struggle with not knowing what God's plan for me was. Then I learned that it really wasn't a huge mystery. He's already planted dreams in my heart...it's just my job to make them happen. With His help, of course.  As I have grown up, so have my dreams. They have evolved and changed and some of them I can't even remember anymore. Several of them I have held onto and several of them I have seen come true: marriage, kids, a house of my own. Twenty years ago I wanted to be the next Amy Grant. Obviously that didn't happen, but maybe it could have if I hadn't been so shy and frightened of the unknown. Ten years ago I wanted to be a paralegal. I put it off because I was getting married and needed to work to save for the wedding and life after the wedding. When I found the time to go back to school, I found myself prego. Having discussions the last few days with some of my friends has made me even more determined to make my dreams into realities. Therefore, I have a handful of dreams that I reluctantly will share with you. Why reluctantly? Because how embarrassing is it to show your dreams to the entire world and then not follow thru? I have created this blog for several reasons, but one of them is to hold myself accountable. If I type, save, post and reveal this to the universe then I am bound to keep myself accountable. So, here goes...

First dream: Shelbie Shave Photography!

Second dream: Write, produce and record a worship cd with my family!

Third dream: Write a novel...or several novels...or a series of novels.
Ok, pretty much a ton of novels!

There. I put them out there. If you are a bazillionaire and would like to donate to the above dream fund, please, feel free. No, they aren't mind-blowing dreams, but for them to no longer be tucked away is a big risk for me. Who knows, maybe after I make my dreams into realities (and make millions), I could own my own Hallmark. 
I would have to name it Margaret's, obviously. 

Hey, if a poor farmer's daughter can make her dreams come true, 

why can't I?